The day after my Canyon adventure, I received a phone call that changed everything—I lost my job. Just a month before, I had plans in place to pay off all my debt and invest in my future. I felt secure, and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But with one phone call, all of that crumbled. I was thrown back into the unknown, and a familiar negative thought flooded my mind: “You’re not good enough.”
That day, I took my Bible and journal and went to a coffee shop to meet with Jesus. As I sat in a corner, tears streamed down my face while I poured my heart out in my journal. It was in that coffee shop that God gave me peace, and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, even though everything seemed to be falling apart.
One thing about me is that I’m very disciplined, with a strong work ethic (thanks, Dad). I often take on more than I can handle because I believe I can do it all. While I do get the work done, it’s not always my best. Over the past two years, I’ve taken on way too much, and honestly, I’ve done it because it makes me feel “good enough.” I’ve placed my worth in what I do because I feel like it’s all on me to provide for myself. But deep down, I know that the thought “I’m not good enough” is a lie from the enemy. John 10:10 tells us that the enemy’s job is to steal, kill, and destroy, and sometimes he tries to destroy us with those negative thoughts.
During this journey, I had to shift my perspective. One thing my mentor has ingrained in my mind is that once you’re conscious of something, you can’t go back. I know too much, and I’ve experienced too much to go back. When I was in Bible School, I learned a lot of cool theological terms, but honestly, I spent most of my time on the floor of my office, crying, worshipping, and basking in the peaceful presence of Jesus. I had to remind myself of those moments—I know Jesus! I’ve felt His presence! I’ve heard His voice; it’s all over my journals. I can’t play games; I have to take this journey of faith and trust in Jesus. He is my provider, not me! My worth comes from Him, not from my worldly title, possessions, income, or people. I am good enough, and I won’t let the enemy’s lies tell me otherwise!
I’m in a shifting season, and my Canyon adventure prepared me for it. I’m in the unknown, and yet, I’m in a good place. This is where I can’t depend on myself—I can only depend on Jesus. I’m clinging to Him, and my control is in His hands. He is doing something NEW! I can’t bring the old with me. I have to behold Him and watch the NEW thing He’s doing right now and in my future.
“No one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.” (Matthew 9:17 NLT)
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19 NLT)
To be honest, in April of this year, after a Bible School lesson, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to leave my job. I was ready, I said, “Okay, let’s do this!” But the next morning, I started playing red light, green light with that thought. It didn’t make sense in the natural, so I hesitated. I was scared, which is why God gave me the word “fearless” this year. Another thing my mentor told me is that people or things come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. Looking back, that job came into my life for a reason and season—it helped me go to Bible School. I’m incredibly thankful for that! I knew it wasn’t for a lifetime because I know, without a doubt, that God has called me into ministry. God let me stay in that job for a few more months, but He knew the season needed to end for me. He knew I wouldn’t end it, so He ended it for me. He knows best! Moving forward, I’m going to follow and act on that gentle tugging voice inside.
It’s a shifting season! This was my Worthy Coffee Chat to share my heart and story. Now it’s time for me to get on that mountain and climb! I’ll keep you updated as I’m climbing. A good friend told me, when God gives you a ministry, you have to experience it. Well, I’m forever experiencing it, but I know there’s a Worthy mountaintop with my name on it. One day, I’m going to look down, cry tears of joy, and see why I’m going through this shift!
If you need a coffee chat before your shift, reply to this email and let me encourage you! :) YOU ARE KINGDOM! YOU ARE SHIFT WORTHY! 😉
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